Our journey began on our 10th Wedding Anniversary, August 3rd, 2012. I had been dealing with a very large pain in my neck (because a level was "out"), and decided that I absolutely could not stand it anymore and was going to take some pain medicine. Because we had decided that this would be our last month trying to concieve, I thought it necessary to take a pregnancy test before I popped any pills. Given that my period was not due for another 9 days, I never in a million years would have dreamed I would get a positive result. But that is just exactly what I got! So I rushed to lie back down and called for Matt to tell him the news and ask for an icepack...I wouldn't be taking pain meds anytime soon! I was cautiously optimistic because, as anyone who knows my history can attest, I have had quite a few miscarriages and failed pregnancies.
I decided that this news would best be kept secret, even from my doctor, until I had two weeks worth of positive pregnancy tests, to rule out the possiblity of a chemical pregnancy. Well, that didn't last too long because I was having my first blood draw August 7th. The nurse who called with the results was a bit surprised by the number and asked again how far along I thought I was. I told her I was still 3 days from missing my period. My hcg level was 326, needless to say, very high! She scheduled me to come in 2 days later for another draw to be sure the levels were doubling and told me not to be too alarmed, but that possibly I ovulated much earlier than I thought.
I spent the next two days blowing Google up! I could find NO instance where a number that high didn't result in twins or triplets. I prepared myself mentally. Surely this wouldn't happen twice!?! Two days later the lab results were back and my number was doubling nicely, as it should, at 682. This calmed my nerves because I had spent hours researching twin pregnancies and remembering the endless weeks of morning sickness and fatigue. I felt like I could breath again. I knew I could carry and delivery 1 baby without any trouble, I have done that 3 times, but 2 babies was not something I felt I could do. I failed the first time.
Because my numbers were so high compared to my cycle day, my OB asked me to come in for an early scan, because he felt I might be much farther along than I thought. I went to the appointment alone, prepared for the worst. As the image showed on the screen in front of me, tears filled my eyes. Not tears of joy, but tears of panic. I saw 2 sacs, one regularly shaped and one oddly shaped. After the ultrasound was complete, the Dr. spoke with me in his office. He seemed less than optimistic. The very round sac was definitely a good sign, but the odd shaped sac wasn't. We were not able to see a yolk sac or fetal pole, so at this point it looked grim. He asked me to return in one week and I questioned him about my high hcg numbers and the fact that there was only one sac. He told me that only time will tell.
One week later I returned, scared out of my mind. This was it...I couldn't stand to experience another loss. The image of the sonogram in front of me was all too familiar. I saw one sac and TWO circles (fetal poles). I stunned the ultrasound tech when I acknowledged the identical twins on the screen before me. She had no idea I had experienced this before and was reluctant to say anything to me. She rushed out of the room to get the doctor, while I layed shaking on the table. The doctor confirmed what I saw instantly...Identical twins! There was still no heartbeats, but everything seemed to measure just as I predicted.
"My suggestion to you is to go and play the lottery!" were the words that first came out of his mouth. The chances of having identical twins twice is about 1:70,000. I was crying and shaking from both excitment and fear. First excitement, then an overwhelming fear. I couldn't do it last time, what made me think I could carry these babies this time? I dialed Matt's number as I walked into the parking lot and told him the one thing I never thought I would say to him again..."It's twins...they are identical." I then became rather hysterical and called my mom. She got the brunt of most of my anguish and fear. How could I be excited when A) there were no heartbeats and B) I had already failed at this once? Only time would tell...
They scheduled me for another ultrasound 2 weeks later and at the 9 day mark I called and asked to come in ASAP...I could wait no longer. They agreed, and this time Matt got to come with me. I thought I was 7 weeks, and the ultrasound confirmed, complete with two identical heartbeats at 141 bpm! I clapped, I cried, I experienced every possible emotion. Reality began to sink in, this was a real pregnancy, and at least for the time being there were 2! The due date, even though twins never go that far was set for April 19th, the day before A turns 7!
Over the next week, my morning sickness hit hard. I began taking the maximum dose of zofran and struggled to keep anything down. My nights were miserable. My days were miserable. The only difference is this time I have other children to tend to. They were my priority and I did the best I could given the circumstances.
Today I am 7 weeks and 6 days and entirely too nauseous to be staring at this computer screen. We go for another appointment tomorrow and I plan on asking about mixing medication to get me through the first trimester. My stomach is already popping out, so I know getting nutrients is vital. Another update to come tomorrow! Bring on 8 Weeks!
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